How to be in two places at once

So I was debating getting my hair cut short for a long time and I finally decided to go for it. (Don't worry, this is relevant.) Sadly though, I couldn't get an appointment for 3 weeks! Now that I'm committed and excited about the big move, I am super antsy waiting for the 10th of September to roll around.

Tonight, however, I got a phone message. Apparently there is a cancellation at the salon tomorrow night at 7. Perfect!

Or not.

I have a BBQ to attend at 6:30 tomorrow.

I could theoretically come late, but there is a surprise component to the evening, and I wouldn't want to miss out. Also, I like helping with the cooking and what not. I could come early, help out, see the surprise (maybe?) and then jet out of there? But that's no fun and defeats the whole social element.

Moral of the story: you can only be in one place at a time.

The lunchtime dilemma

The lunchtime dilemma seems to have defined this summer. Here's some necessary background information to fully understand the extent of this complex issue:

• My job is awesome, but technically I'm an intern and thus get paid by the hour. Going out for lunch is a double whammy since I have to log my lunchtime hours. Spending money and getting docked pay?! Bogus.
• I would still be bothered even if I didn't have to take off for my lunchtime hours since I can bring food from home for free (the perk to the downside of living with your parents). I want to be saving money at the moment, not spending it.
  
• Beyond this, I have lots of food issues:
1. I keep kosher, so I don't eat meat in restaurants. For argument's sake I am a vegetarian. My coworkers love to go to places like this Brazilian buffet where they all get meat on a stick? I don't know, I didn't ask.... ["Everyday we serve fine meats from a rotisserie machine cut to your order"]
2. I am lactose intolerant. Eliminate pizza, much Italian food, etc.
   
3. I like menus that include the words healthy, natural, unprocessed, organic, vegetarian. As proven by the meat on a stick and my coworkers' excitement over places like Ruby Tuesdays, we are clearly on different pages.
4. I prefer my own food damnit.
   

There might be more factors, but I think that is a general overview.

So I bring my lunch to work everyday (see every point above for reasons why) but it seems that 85% of the time my coworkers are going out to lunch. Now, they are very endearing in that they consistently ask me if I want to come and express dismay when I reject them day in and day out. I do *occasionally* go out when it's celebratory or when they manage to choose places that don't have salad as their only non-meat/healthy option (I am not paying/losing my salary for a proteinless $5+ salad) like when we went out for burritos (mmm) at a place that had tofu on the menu! But let me tell you the stress that went into that choice as my coworker Joe and I attempted to rack our brains for a place that all parties involved would be happy.

The best thing, though, was when everyone went out to a place my coworkers call the Turkey Farm. This place used to be an actual turkey farm, and now is surrounded by suburban condos. The menu is meat meat meat (fine, they have vegetable quiche) BUT they have picnic tables outside! Perfect happy medium: my coworkers get to spend money on meat, and I get to join them, outside the office, in the sunshine, but eating my own free, yummy, healthy, non-stomach-hurting sandwich!

OK, so in retrospect the issue doesn't seem as bad as it was when I started work and really wanted to be social and get to know my coworkers. But still, it has been the topic of many conversations amongst me and my friends. And I can't knock my coworkers completely, because on days when we all eat in the office kitchen we watch Jeopardy and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and make fun of the contestants. A girl can only complain so much...

Ironically, blogging itself poses a dilemma

It is a gorgeous day out, it is Saturday, why am I blogging?

But if I don't write on the weekend, I have to write during the week.
If I write during the week that leaves two time options: during work and after work.
It would be nice to blog at work, very convenient time wise, but (a) I can't devote my full attention to well-thought-out posts and (b) people can see my computer screen and I'm guessing it's inappropriate to blog at work... (though somehow my friend Nate manages to do it, sneaky boy).

That leaves blogging after work.
After spending 8 hours in front of a computer, the only thing I really want to do when I get home is whip out the laptop and sit for longer periods ranting out my inane dilemmas. [Sarcasm.]

Despite the aforementioned reasons not to blog at work, I will say that it *would* allow me to blog through the dilemmas and would align most closely with my mom's goal of getting me weened off of her listening skills.

See, every dilemma has a converse.

-- --- --
Moral of the story: it's a gorgeous day out, why am I blogging?

Dilemma ridden

A common Gailism, generally expressed (whined?) to my mother, my best friend, or anyone who knows me well enough to humor me and pretend to listen, is the statement "here's my dilemma." What follows is a rambling of unmatched proportions, where I outline the issue at hand, and all the possible choices I have and the pros and cons of each. The unwitting recipient of this earful literally does not have to say anything. The HMD rant is ultimately a way for me to talk out silly issues that only I would see as significant dilemmas and come to a conclusion on my own, but in a fashion that pretends to be a dialogue.

Why this helps me? Unclear.
But it occurs a lot.

So after reading an article in the NY Times about female bloggers my mom suggested that I turn my ramblings into a blog. Mostly I think she wants me to hit the blog jackpot and get sponsored by J.C. Penney and Crate & Barrel like Heather Armstrong's dooce.com [dilemma: include the link and send my nonexistent readers to a more developed site or leave it out and lack a source?], but I think she also wants me to grow up and learn to solve my own dilemmas without talking her ear off. Mom: "Instead of calling me, why don't you try writing a blog post every time you have a dilemma?" Such gentle code for: I have things to do in life, and you're 22 damnit, plus your dilemmas are ridiculous.

And that is how we've arrived here...